As a parent have you ever felt like you weren’t enough? As a special needs parent have you ever felt like you were doing it all wrong?
There are days where I feel that way. But there are days where I also feel like no one could do this because some how I’ve managed to juggle a 3 ring circus, get the dishes done, laundry washed (never folded in the same day 😜), got everyone where they needed to be and managed to avoided a blow out diaper. Winning much? I think so!
I have to say in some ways life has gotten easier as my little Mr. L has grown older. Society naturally expects more from him just because he looks older, but the meltdowns have dramatically decreased.
For those of you in the thick of it, just discovering your child’s diagnosis, know you are not alone. It feels like just yesterday my son was screaming and banging his head on the floor and I was trying to do anything and everything just to make the banging stop. To make the sick sound of his head hitting the floor never happen again, and the feeling like I was doing it wrong to stop. I felt like I was momming it wrong and it hurt.
I remember thinking, “He’s not a teenager. Life should be simple still. He’s not even potty trained yet.” And I often asked myself, “Why can’t I fix this?” I knew how to feed, bathe, tickle and love my child and yet he would cry and I could not fix it.
To those of you feeling like this, understand that the clouds will clear. You will find clarity and things can get better.
We worked hard as a family, all of us; dad, mom, mr. L, and mr. C. We learned and practiced and found patience with each other and ourselves. We are still learning every day and we’ve thrown little miss A into the mix, but we are currently not in survival mode, and it’s nice.
Are you in emotional survival mode? Have you recently received an autism diagnosis? Or are you in a good place and you have tips you can share? Let me know in the comments below.
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