How do you handle your kid being picked on, teased, or called names?
A few days ago my son who has autism was called “demented” and I wanted to take a bat to that little jerk’s face. Mr. L was trying to strike up a conversation with a kid who looked to be about 10. The older kid was trying to be cool in front of two of his peers and obviously did not have the mature social skills to interpret Mr. L’s attempt at communication.
There was an obvious fail at communication between the two and instead of walking away or looking to me for further enlightenment, the older child chose to be mean. Unfortunately I was tied up in dealing with little miss A’s toddler drama and could not intercede before Mr. L was verbally bullied.
I didn’t lose my self control… but I am human and I did lose my cool. I guess you could say my “momma bear” came out a bit. Mr. L had been attempting multiple times to have a conversation with this kid and the kid had multiple times responded in unkind return. When the kid turned to name calling, I had had enough.
I walked over and said in a accusatory tone, “Have you heard of autism? Have you heard of people having special needs!?” This kid’s peers took off and he started to back away but I wasn’t done, “Have you heard of a neurological brain disorder!? You haven’t!? Maybe you should learn to read. Instead of being a jerk, maybe you should go home, read, and learn about this stuff instead of being rude.” I finished with, “Mr. L did nothing wrong. He was just trying to talk to you, trying to be a friend and you were a jerk! Get out of here”.
It wasn’t my finest moment, I took advantage of knowing a kid probably didn’t know what a neurological brain disorder was, and I accused him of being illiterate… But I tell myself at least I didn’t swear, and I didn’t actually pick up a bat like I wanted to…
Being verbal does not mean communication is easy.
The good news is that Mr. L didn’t seem to pick up that the kid was being rude to him, but the bad news is the same thing. Mr. L cares. He wants people to be nice and he doesn’t like being excluded when he decides he wants to play with others.
And ya know, this worries me. This has been added to my list of things that float through my thoughts when I’m brushing my teeth or stirring dinner. I try to quickly send it on it’s way, but sometimes these thoughts fire back with, “Are you sure mainstreaming him is the best for him? Are you advocating for failure?” But the what-if game could run in circles for days and nothing would come of it.
Are you a momma bear? Have you ever ran a kid off before? How do you handle it when you child faces conflict? Let me know in the comments below!
Don’t forget to follow, comment, like and share 😁