rachelward11

Unique Communication

Body language

The thing about autism that is hard for typical people to get, is that body language is usually a huge form of communication for those on the spectrum that don’t have lengthy vocabulary. But the tricky part is recognizing those cues that autistic people are using to let you know if they are having a good day or if they are seconds away from a full on meltdown.

I mean yeah, some cues are pretty straight forward. Last night when I was getting his backpack ready for his first day back to school after Christmas break mr. L yelled, “I hate school” which = he was enjoying his winter break and wasn’t ready to go back yet, I get it.

Or when he covers his ears and says, “Brother be quiet!” Obviously = his brother had been talking a lot and mr. L needed a break. And this favorite,

Someone was obviously excited about someone visiting soon 😜🎅

But what about the more subtle things? When his fists clench, and his shoulders go up, and his voices gets more edgy? Or when my son mr. L sits on the opposite side of the couch but stretches out his leg, so his foot can touch you, but he doesn’t want you touching his foot? He could be getting madder and close to shooting off into tornado mode, or wants you to know he loves you.

What I think is the hardest to explain though, is the feelings he just gives off. There isn’t always an obvious body movement. Sometimes if you don’t know him or you aren’t paying attention, suddenly he’s just gone. He took off and heaven knows where or why he went. Curiosity? Anxiety? Overstimulated?

The good news is that if you sit by him and just listen and follow his lead, he can be easy and simple to understand. You just got to put in the time to do it.

I’ve had family, staff, and friends tell me what I’ve witnessed. Mr. L can go from 0 to 100 in seconds in either direction. Meaning he can go from going with the flow to bursting with excitement trying to explain the joy and excitement he wants to share with you. Or it can mean he appeared slightly agitated and then destroyed an entire classroom. 

Art

Mr. L uses his whiteboard to show us things he’s learned by drawing it out and labeling things with colors, letters, and he’s beginning to spell out words. He’s shown us how he knows about planets, moons, specific ships, farm equipment, fruits and vegetables I didn’t know existed, types of trains, and fictional characters he enjoys. This is amazing to us because even though he’s 8, he doesn’t just sit down next to me while I’m folding laundry to tell me, “Hey mom, guess what! Today I learned about Mars” Hopefully someday he will, but for now I’ll enjoy deciphering his detailed expo marker art.

He also enjoys drawing in notebooks, leaving short messages for people, and using printer paper to leave signs around the house so we know what he’s looking forward to or currently excited about.

Phones

Mr. L has recently discovered that he can text his favorite person in the whole world- no not me 😜 I get “mom status” which is special, but his Aunt Emily is his person. He doesn’t usually text words, his go to form of texting communication is emojis. He could text his Emily emojis for hours and being the angel that she is will emoji him back. It’s fun to see another glimpse into his world via pictures to see what he is thinking.

Also with phones mr. L can be a big fan of FaceTime. He enjoys showing his dad, grandparents, or his Emily what he’s been up to with the phone, and likes to prop up the phone so they can watch and interact with him while he plays with his trains. He has good people in his life.

My son does tell us things, just not in the traditional ways. And from what I’ve picked up from interacting with other people with special needs, is that if you just slow down and wait, they not only will show you their world, they really really want to share what’s on their mind.

So what types of communication is your go to? What kind of communication do you have a hard time figuring out? Let me know in the comments below. Please like and share 😊

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15 comments

  1. This is beautiful! I’m a visual learner, so images, gifs, and emojis are my favorite ways to communicate too! Sometimes they describe things better than any word in the English language could.

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  3. My daughter will get louder and louder when she is about to blow. Sometimes I see it coming and others I don’t. She has started hitting walls out of the blue. That scares me

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  4. Yes, I get what you mean about body language. One of the people I met where I am was my aunt’s neighbour, and she has an autistic son. I totally pick up a lot of signals/emotions from his body language, and I find it really endearing/interesting. I don’t feel like I have difficulty in understanding with him. And he’s hilarious in his own way of communicating. I think that autistic people can teach us a lot!

    I had a classmate at university who was autistic, and had big struggles with speaking and showing appropriate facial expressions. Most people wanted to ignore him if they could. I was empathetic towards him and we made friends, and he joined my friend group. It was my first experience of properly interacting with an autistic person with that level of communication difficulty.

    Honestly, most people thought he was intellectually incapable, and I didn’t think he was that capable. I was surpised he was doing a physics degree. Then I had a big breakthrough when we messaged on MSN messenger at the time. It was a completely sobering and stunning experience. There was no sign at all of the autism or communicatoin problems. That was how I found out it was autism–– he told me. Seeing the personality under the appearance, and knowing about the autism made a huge difference to me after that.

    I imagine and hope that your quality of communication with your son will only improve over time :). It was awesome reading about the way that he uses emojis–– it is both fascinating and cute. And really gives you an appreciation for emojis and technology, doesn’t it? It was also fascinating to me because I’ve made friends with another autistic person here recently, and they also use loads of emojis, alongside the text equivalents in their messages. It is so interesting and endearing!

    Sorry for essay xD

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    • I loved reading your personal experiences with those who communicate differently then most! That is an incredible story of that friend you made at university, It makes my momma heart happy to know that people like you are out there giving people on the autism spectrum a chance. That is so cool how MSN messenger opened up a whole new form of communication and gave you a chance to really communicate.
      I hope my son continues to find ways to talk to us too🤞

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