I thought yesterday was going to be a normal day with the usual schedule, I was dropping mr. L off at his ABA when his therapist asked if She could speak with me for a moment. That wasn’t usual, and my first thought was, oh no, what happened yesterday that his tech forgot to tell me?
So I guided little miss A into a near by office and told mr. L’s therapist we had about 10 min and then we needed to go get mr. C from his bus drop off. As little miss A was pulling toys from a near by book shelf and distributing them across the floor as she was seeing fit to do, the therapist just bluntly said, “Mr. L is done with ABA therapy”.
What did that mean!? I mean it’s pretty straightforward. My 8 year old son who has been going to ABA therapy since he was almost 3 will no longer be going. But why? Was that a good thing? A great thing? A terrible thing? With all these thoughts swarming in my head I asked, “Why did you decide this?” I mean this was so unceremoniously decided and so abrupt. Did he secretly obtain a level of success and they kept it from us? Or did they decide any attempt of progress was hopeless and they were giving up?
His therapist Miss J told me, “He just doesn’t need it anymore. He is fine at home, his negative behaviors have extremely lessened at his special school, and when he visits his mainstream school he has had zero bad experiences”. So just like that they decided he was done! He has never needed applied behavioral analysis therapy to maintain skills, it’s always been to lessen his negative behaviors and Miss J thinks that therapy is now causing negative behaviors instead of removing them. I know weird, but I’ll take the win.
I gotta tell ya. I have never enjoyed ABA but I have always been extremely thankful for it. And there is always that chance that mr. L could regress bad enough that going back could happen. But that is not the plan, and we are all excited to have him home with us. I have always felt about ABA like I feel about children’s hospitals, I hate them but I can’t express in words the gratitude I have for them.
If it wasn’t for a children’s hospital little miss A wouldn’t be with us, she wouldn’t be 2 and giving us a run for our money. And if it wasn’t for applied behavioral analysis, there is a really good chance that mr. L wouldn’t be talking to us, for years he could be banging his head, and who knows if he would be fully toilet trained by now. Because of ABA mr. L shares his voice with us and has started to share his world with us.
I understand that ABA can be a controversial topic. I understand and I studied the history of it. I will tell you, there are good ABA therapists and not good ones. I have asked questions over the years, sat in on sessions, and watched sessions on cameras in back rooms without techs knowing at the time. Mr. L has had 3 therapists over the years and we did have one we did not like. She did things we disagreed with, and when she refused to change we left. We have been advocating for our children for years and will continue as long as they need it.
I will still be working with mr. L at home and in our community just like usual. I will just get more time to do it and it will be more natural because it will be practical with his family instead of in a cubical/ clinic/ office.
Basically it was a lot to take in, it will be a life change, but it’s a good thing and we are super excited about it! 🏆🎉🧩🥳 Wish us luck on this new life adventure!
Did you recently have a life change or exciting and unexpected news? Celebrate and tell us about it! And have a great day everyone! 🦋🌈✨💜